first load

The first load went out for auction yesterday. It feels a little weird. I decided against keeping furniture other than the corner shelf and a little bench. But then, the auction didn’t want the upstairs living room furniture so, since I don’t want it either, it gets donated. I’d take it, I guess, if Charlie wouldn’t just destroy it.

upperstairs boxes 1

This picture of the upstairs pile of boxes doesn’t seem to me to really show the real volume. The 8 x 16 trailer was completely filled with the boxes and bedroom and dining room furniture. There’s still more for them to pick up upstairs – and of course downstairs.

upperstairs boxes 2

There’s just something strange about people hauling away the iron stove lamps (they have little pans and stuff) that I played with as a little girl. I thought about keeping them but couldn’t imagine a space where I would want to have them. But now someone else will have them. And that feels weird.

Still, we need to clean the upstairs, finish a few things and get the trash furniture hauled away. And I’m going to have the carpet in the bathroom (who does that?) replaced with vinyl or something. It smells so bad that I if I were looking at the house I would walk right out. But it’s about time to list it. I hate living in a house that is on the market but that’s the way it goes.

It’s hard for me to express, it just feels weird. Maybe because of the finality. I mean, when I started cleaning out the upstairs – and the downstairs for that matter – after Dad went into the nursing home, I didn’t throw away some things on the slight chance that Dad might come home again. I suppose that the furniture and stuff leaving the house kind of means that they aren’t ever coming home.

And that it’s not my home anymore, either.

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6 thoughts on “first load”

  1. I get what you’re saying about how weird it is. I’ve closed down one home and helped with two others. I felt like I was in a dream, watching my life be dismantled all around me. I never panicked but it didn’t seem real, like I should have been more upset than I was. You’re doing great and now that so much of the stuff has moved on, I’m sure you’ll come to realize what a good thing you’re doing.

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    1. Exactly. I think the reason I’m not more upset is that I have been through a kind of tiered sorting. First time through I tended to keep anything that triggered memories. Second time I was able to let go of more and the third time, I let go of even more. The thing that does upset me some is how little appreciation some of my childhood memories will get at the auction.

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  2. It does make it so final and REAL. It’s like closing the door to one life, and moving into the unknown. I would be crying buckets of tears. Sending hugs!! What a lot of work you’ve done.

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    1. Yup. I’m not a big fan of moving into the unknown these days. There have been some tears – because of the memories. Mom setting her hair and using one of those ridiculous old hair dryers that looked like you had attached a vacuum to your head. And I always sat on the bed with her and played with her jewelry. I found a small bottle of Gay Diversion perfume with maybe a tablespoon or so of perfume left in it. It brought me right back to my grandma’s house.

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    1. Tons of stuff! Another big pile of auction stuff downstairs. At least the same volume in donations and probably twice that in stuff that had to be thrown away. I need to take pictures of the garage. 🙂 It does feel good to be reaching the end.

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