me me me me me

mememe

“You can’t get mad at weather because weather’s not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life.” Douglas Coupland

A trait that I don’t like about myself – which I’m sure you’ve never noticed or perhaps might pretend you’ve never noticed – is that I process information by looking at it through my own experiences. I’m not the only person that does this but I don’t like it and I try to slow down and truly listen.

Someone said that there is no such thing as conversation, we’re all just waiting for a chance to tell our own story. That is one thing the internet can do for us. It’s easier to take the time to really listen in writing. Not that we always do that. A lot of my old forum days were spent either watching or participating in shouting matches in which everyone was really saying, listen to me – only my opinion counts.

But what I’m talking about is how when you’re listening to someone and you’re really hearing them – and you pull what they’re saying inside and roll it around in your own experiences. I don’t know how you feel exactly, you say, but I’ve felt something similar. I’m not saying my experience is the same, I’m saying that I’m trying to understand how you feel.

But probably it’d be better if I shut up. If I stopped and kept the internal musings internal. I know this. I was reminded of it recently in a post where the person was talking about what not to say to someone in crisis. I know this, but I still do it. You’d think in the written world of the internet I could slow down and not write the things that are going on inside my head.

I get a pass for tomorrow. It’s all about me. I’ll be answering the questions that our friend Ms. Bean posted on her blog this past week. I am glad that she asked new questions. Her responses to the ones that were asked of her are just incredible. I wish everyone thought the way she thinks.

But I’ve already written more than I intended today. So we’ll see what answers I can dream up overnight.

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6 thoughts on “me me me me me”

  1. I love this post!! I try to be a good listener, but my first tendency is to talk. However I do like discussing other peoples lives and their issues. Maybe that helps? I also enjoyed Ally’s post, but I’m too brain-dead to try it right now. 😔

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    1. I’m amazed you are even able to read and type. I try to be a good listener, too. I’m interested in other people. I just need to shut up sometimes. 🙂

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  2. Is there a way to shut that internal muser up? I’m not sure there is. At least I have never found it yet. 🙂 If you do manage it, let me know!

    Well I am about to do a Good Thing – as my internal muser shouts NO WAY NOT GOOD – and take my Uncle shopping, and he is a person who does not listen at all, plus he cannot see, hear, or think about anything other than himself. Everything relates to him. Everything done is either to help him, or done as a personal insult to him.

    He’s upset right now because my parents will not be taking him to the airport next weekend. Well this week, they have a daytrip to Canberra, next weekend they are short staffed at work and will likely spend most of their time there, and then on Monday they have to go to a conference. Their not wanting to go to the airport is not about him, it is about their busy lives and what they are doing. And I spent time explaining that yesterday, and will likely explain it until the cows come home today.

    I am a patient person, this is one thing I have learned from him. I’ve given up trying to “help” him because telling him anything is a total waste of time, he does not hear, even if the suggestion is brilliant!

    I am also very good at keeping my mouth shut, which is why he is still speaking to me at this point. If I make it through this week without telling him that he is a very selfish person, I’m buying myself a donut. 🙂

    I might take a crack at shutting up my muser today, I already have a headache.. 🙂

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    1. I don’t know that there’s a way to shut up the internal muser, but I think it’s possible to not say everything that comes into your head. Hard, but possible.

      Good luck with your uncle. I try to visualize that type in an emotional wheelchair. You’re right, there’s not a lot of use in continuing to explain to him. Buy me a donut too.

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  3. DONUTS?!! I want one too, please.

    I know what you mean about keeping your internal musings to yourself while every ounce of you wants to shout: NO!!! I stumble with that many times. But I do think that the quote you use at the top of this post is wonderful. Plan on remembering it… at the right moment, I hope.

    Also, thank you for the lovely review of my answers. Looking forward to your answers!

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    1. One of the anonymous thoughts I keep running into is “Everything in your head doesn’t need to be said.” I suspect that’s a good message for me. On the other hand, too much quiet is bad for me. Balance!

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