so many goodbyes this year


My friend Beth has died. Her husband, also my friend, died just before his birthday in July. Her birthday would have been December 7th. Just coincidence but makes it all a little more surreal. I wish I had called her more often. She had been in and out of the hospital since last December and never let me know til she was home. That was Beth. I talked to her several times around Homer’s death but often felt like I was tiring her out. I thought that the phone lines went both way.

I guess we weren’t so close in recent years. But she had been one of my best friends. We were always doing stuff together when we both lived in Wyoming. Whether it was driving 140 miles to go to lunch or the three of us going to the July 4th celebration at Mount Rushmore and getting rained out. Homer had the best stories about dealing with my dog, Fred. Beth and I went camping with her dogs and Fred many many times. I taught her little dog Goliath to drink Frapuccinos and even though she hated coffee, she’d occasionally buy him a little bottle of frapuccino just to give him a tiny amount. She would invite me over for Saturday morning breakfast with biscuits and gravy because Goliath and I loved it – she hated it.

Remember when Who Wants to be a Millionaire was first on? I had satellite TV and Beth had cable. I had a New York feed and a Los Angeles feed. The LA feed coincided with our local broadcast, for some reason. I used to watch the show on the earlier feed and then watch with Beth over the phone. She was amazed at how much I knew! I don’t remember whether she figured it out or I confessed but it was a lot of laughs.

There were so many little things. Funny things. Annoying things. She and Homer were my family in Wyoming. We had our tragedies. Today, I don’t think is for remembering tragedies.


8 thoughts on “so many goodbyes this year”

    1. Are we just reaching the age when many of our friends will start dying? So many of my friends are 10-20 years older than I am. Perhaps. And yes, there have been a number who have moved on to other things, too. Wearing me down is quite an apt descriptor.


  1. Yes, yes. Too many changes in the past few years for me, most of them negative. I feel like I never know what to expect(which I don’t) and am always off balance.


  2. I’m so sorry about the loss of your friends, both in the same year. Try as I might, I can not find a way to get over the loss of loved ones. Losing grandparents is relatively easy, probably because these are people who seemed old from the start. Parents are tougher, but with time there’s a mellowing in the brain about those losses — again, the death of parents is more or less expected. But losing friends is very hard, maybe even in the category of losing a spouse. I wonder if that’s because we actively choose our spouses and our friends.


    1. And others this year. I don’t think you “get over” the death of someone close. You move on, you adjust. You don’t get over. I’ve never had a spouse but I’m not sure I’d equate most friends with a spouse. Grandparents – in my case they lived thousands of miles away and we saw them maybe once every other year. They were concepts more than people I was close with. I am not sure how I will feel about the folks. They’ve not been “here” in such a long time already and it will be a release for them. Still. I’m not used to friends dying. It seems very strange.


  3. Zazzy – so sorry for your loss. I’ve come to learn that when I grieve a death, I grieve the deaths of all those I’ve already grieved. It all comes back and feels so raw for a time. Wishing you peace.


    1. Thank you Maura. I agree. In Beth’s case, I think of her husband and of the friends we had back in Wyoming who, although not dead are gone from our lives. I think of that little dog she is holding and how we fought to save his life – he was the only one of four who lived when a very bad man poisoned them. So many memories. I prefer not to dwell on the saddest ones.


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