stupibetes

mydiabetes

This is a post about diabetes. And frustration. It’s about lots and lots of frustration.

I wrote several paragraphs earlier. You know, the history of my diabetes and the explanation of terms and whatnot. All of this buildup to say – damn it’s driving me nuts. Monday was endo day and I went in armed, I talked with Wil and got his input, especially on what to talk about with my endo. And nothing really happened.

My blood sugar feels out of control. I can’t get it down even when my diet is perfect and my diet is rarely perfect. He wants me to stay at 70 units of fast acting insulin per day (along with 30 units of lantus) and that does not keep my blood sugar anywhere near “normal” anymore. I took 90 units Monday morning and tried not to eat anything to would raise my sugar and was still driving above 230 mg/dL. And that’s crazy.

And it’s crazy that I can even sort of function at that level. Typically it makes me sleep. A zero-carb energy drink was helping me to stay awake; at home – that’s why I fall asleep in the afternoon. Last week I had a high of almost 400 and it totally messes with my ability to do the things I need to do or go the places I need to go.

The good news is that I remain healthy despite the high blood sugars. I need to lose weight – yes, I know that. It’s hard to do for everyone, it’s harder when your blood sugar is high. When your blood sugar is high you are constantly craving food. I’m not hungry per se, but you don’t absorb nutrients properly and your body keeps telling you to eat! Eat! I’m weak at night, in particular. I just want the cravings to shut up. And I’m not perfect by any means when my blood sugar is normal. Just saying.

I really like my endo, I’ve said so before. He’s always been really supportive of me. Plus, he never fails to ask about Dad. He helped me a lot, getting Dad into different services. I trust him.

But I disagree with him about the insulin. I understand that increasing the insulin enough to control the blood sugar can cause weight gain. But uncontrollable cravings from high blood sugar doesn’t help either. He really does not want to increase the insulin. He is adamant. I am frustrated. He does give me enough insulin to have extra for those days I really have to drive somewhere but that’s not something I can do all the time. He doubled my metformin which may help, that will take time to tell. I’m not all that hopeful, I’ve tried it before but perhaps not for long enough.

I trust him, but I don’t agree with him. But I will keep trying to eat healthy and not graze at night and lose some weight. I know that would help. And I’ll keep considering the weight loss surgery option. It may really be the only thing that can get my weight down fast enough to get my blood sugar down before it does significant damage to one of my organs.

End of rant. It is, I suppose, possible to force myself to do stuff even when I’m fighting just to stay awake. It is possible to ignore those cravings even in the middle of the night when I am weak. I will keep trying.

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18 thoughts on “stupibetes”

  1. I can understand why all of this is frustrating. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t… and hungry in the process. I have no specific advice on this topic because I know nothing about it. However, considering how aware you are, I have no doubt that eventually you’ll figure it all out.

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    1. Thanks Ally. It is very frustrating. Most of the changes I feel like I should be able to do more easily than I do. Just say NO! 🙂

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  2. I trust your instincts on this. Do whatever it takes to get your blood sugar down and protect your organs and nerves. You do not want to get neuropathy!

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    1. I’ve had neuropathy for years. I’d just as soon it not get worse and certainly my sugar needs to come way down to achieve that.

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  3. I just read your entry, and will spend part of my day thinking and re-thinking about it. I then clicked over to one of my go-to “news” sites and found this article:
    http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/07/everything-you-know-about-fat-is-wrong.html
    …which of course made me think of you. It contains no answers for you I’m sure, but I think it does validate some of your experience. Your blog does a great service for people (like me) who don’t really understand life with diabetes, despite knowing dozens of people with it, including first-degree relatives. I do know, though, from my years of working at the National Institutes of Health, that it’s one of the most complicated, complex, and baffling of the major diseases. In my years at NIH, we always liked to brag about the medical progress we made in the 20th century, with the promise that the 21st century would bring even more cures and preventions. The example we often cited was the treatment of diabetes. But in my humble opinion we only have the smallest grip on this condition.

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    1. I am so not capable of the low carb diet. But I think the takeaway is that all the crap they tell us to do – is complicated, at best. We have come so very far in the management of diabetes compared to the 70s when my grandmother died of complications. We can test our blood sugar fairly accurately and we have all kinds of medications that help. Up to a point. But understood? No way. And every few years they tell us that they’re close to a cure. I kind of wonder if it will ever happen.

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  4. Seems there should be stronger word than “frustrating” for this situation. And if “just say no” worked we probably wouldn’t have corporate prisons or nearly so many doctors in this country–and I wouldn’t be a Friend of Bill’s. One of my friends had great success with weight loss and getting out of diabetes entirely for about a year. Then, he gained all the weight back and is on meds for diabetes. I have no idea what the answer(s) are, but it looks far more complicated than can be addressed by meds change-up.

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    1. I have been thinking about the “perfect storm” that is type 2 diabetes, at least for me. There just aren’t easy answers – or the answers that sound easy are just not really easy. I keep hearing numbers like 90% of people who lose weight gain it back, no matter what method they use to lose it. It all seems so hopeless.

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  5. My mother struggles with her diabetes too and so I hear a lot from her about the same issues. I’m glad to hear that you are healthy despite the blood sugar problems. No matter what my mom eats, her blood sugar goes up and she gets very frustrated by that. Walking helps, but she has a bad back so that’s tough to do. I know, from talking to her, that it seems like a no-win situation at times. Hope that you will find some solutions, my friend! xoxo

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    1. So many of us struggle with it – and lots of people become type 2 diabetic with age. I wish us all some solutions.

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  6. Hey Sweets, like the new look. Sorry to hear you are still having problems. Did the band not do its job? Anyways I did my yearly blood tests the first of April and all but two things were where they need to be. My overall cholesterol dropped 33 points from 209 to 176 which is the first time in my life that I can remember it being below 200 and in the safe range. My HDL went from 50 to 45 but that is still okay. My LDL was at 120 but the doctor said that had gone down from the previous years test but I didn’t ask how much. The doctor asked me what I had done and I said changed my eating habits so he said keep it up what ever it is you are doing. Now the funny part is that I had lost my appetite and didn’t realize it until it showed up one day. I started eating more protein and less sugar and have been eating popcorn and lots of butter every day. I am just sharing this because I don’t think medical science is truly a science. One day they say one thing and the next reverse what they said the day before. Anyways I read where they now believe that butter is actually good for you and that you should eat more of it. And to top it all off I haven’t lost any weight but I haven’t gained any either. Praying that you get better and get this all figured out. Be well and safe Sweets!

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    1. I’ve always had pretty decent total cholesterol but my good is too low and my bad is too high. Shrug. I’ve been on the butter bandwagon for years – and my cholesterol has not suffered from it. Personally, I think the more natural foods you can eat is probably better. The good news is, the medication change seems to be helping. I could live without the GI issues but that will improve in time.

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  7. I was diagnosed last August. My adventure with high blood glucose was quite the opposite. When it was high I had less appetite. I lost a bunch of weight without really knowing what was going on. (I have been a nurse for years so the denial was sky high). I slowly dropped from 324lbs to 290lbs. My a1c was 12 on 8-30-13. Taking Metformin 1000mg and Januvia it was 8.2 on 11-21-13. The a1c on 2-28-14 was 6.5. I had to go off the Januvia due to the cost and the Doc put me on 2K of Metformin. After a bit my fastings rose to the 140’s and I was not happy. About a week ago she put me on 5mg of glipizide xl after a week on it my fastings run 65 to 80. Two hour post prandials are running about 130-140. My weight is down to 260 but my hunger is greater now than it has been since I can’t remember. The most important thing I have done is stay completely away from concentrated sweets. None. No special occasions with cake and icing, none. I low carb a lot but the sweets are a biggie. I regard them as poison. I have always been a big sweet eater so this is hard, but I just think to myself that seeing feels better than anything tastes. I really hope that with constant vigilance and continued weight loss I can keep this killer under control. I am very determined to stay off insulin which I believe increases hunger and weight gain.
    The metformin makes me fart like a wind broken horse. It’s all a big bitch. Hang in there girl.

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    1. You know, I’ve known a number of people with diabetes who stopped taking their meds so that they’d get to that point where you lose weight no matter what you’re eating. Dangerous that! I’m glad you got your sugar under good control – be careful with the glypizide, I’m sure you know it can cause lows. 65 is pretty low for a fasting. Still, the tighter control you have the better chance you have of staying off of insulin. My endo says most of us will be on it eventually. If I lose weight, I hope there is still a chance of getting off of it – though at the moment it appears I’m not producing much if any.

      Sweets are, for the most part, not my problem. I like some now and then but bread… oh bread is my weakness, especially toast.

      Take care of you and check in now and then and let us know how you’re doing.

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  8. Yes 65 is low, however that used to be normal for me. I spent years running with very low blood sugar. And I did feel fine at 65 while earlier I got the shakes at 150. Since I started the glipizide I started carrying glucose tablets with me. I am really wanting to start biking again and figure the glipizide is going to be an issue with exercise increases. As to future insulin use, maybe, but I am 55 now and working hard so who knows. Thanks for the kind words.

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    1. You never quite know with exercise. I had a friend whose blood sugar went up when he exercised, then dropped later. Test a lot and be careful, don’t want to hear that you’ve cracked your head open.

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  9. Ha, no head cracking I hope. I have an extremely active job. Lot’s of fast walking plus pushing and yanking and rolling around heavy c41 o2 containers several times a week. Activity always makes the sugar go down, and I mean down down. I was astounded. I have to plan food around it and have a decent idea how to make that work. I am guessing I will hold the glipizide if I take a long ride. I will ride with glucometer, test strips and my trusty Kroger’s brand glucose tablets.

    I know you have mobility issues but have you considered a hand peddling device as they use in PT? Also I have a friend who had gastric bypass who used water walking because of an extremely bum knee. It has worked wonders for her.

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    1. I wish, there’s no water aerobics or walking pools within 70 miles. I thought I found one in Monett and it turned out to only be about waist deep which is not what is needed for the benefit. I hate hate hate the hand bike but I have a chair yoga dvd and a chair pilates dvd – if I would do them. Chair tai chi hurts my shoulders but I should learn the movements again and just not do them to the point of pain. They’re relaxing.

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