I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do with this space. The blog has changed over the years with a different focus or a positive or more complaining tone. It was time to clear it out again and to make some choices about what I need. To everything there is a season.
First, I still need a place to process. I am still exploring me. I feel like I have said everything and I don’t want to get back in the habit of just complaining. But there are things I need and want to work on and I know talking about them publicly helps.
Second, I need the conversation. Blogs seem to have gone out of style and those people who used to visit here mostly don’t come by anymore. People go on to other parts of their lives and yes, it hurts my feelings but I do understand that my blog is not the center of the universe. The things I write are not of interest to everyone. I found out last fall when that huge group of people came over because my blog was linked by a popular blogger – I don’t want that. I would like more than a handful of blogging friends but I’d rather have a few than a huge, nameless crowd of several hundred people. I didn’t feel like I could be honest. I really enjoyed meeting a few of those people – it was the crowd that scared me.
Third, I need to be positive. Not pollyanna-positive and not lying-to-myself positive, but not focusing on just how hard change is. And I also need to be honest. I need to be able to say that I can see myself dying right now. If I don’t make changes, healthy changes, I will die. Not immediately, of course, but my blood sugars are awful, I keep gaining weight, I’m less active and in more pain, I don’t sleep, I’m having breathing issues. I cannot just keep going down the same path.
And that’s where the blog comes in. It’s all about the journey, trying different things, talking with people. I’d like to attract some more readers interested in these issues but I don’t know how to do that. I do want to include more photography – I want to get out and do more with my camera. I need some creative outlets. I plan to keep cooking. Cooking is both creative and generally a lot healthier than processed foods.
I will undoubtedly talk about other things in life – you know, dementia and kitties and gardening and whatnot. I don’t think I’m capable of a single focus niche blog. I just don’t want to feel like all I do is complain.
So that’s where I am. A new season for the blog. Spring, I think, which is often full of hope and rebirth.