week 2 begins #lmwlchallenge

Oh, my. I am afraid I am becoming more and more disenchanted with this program. I don’t want to sound too cynical here because there are some good things in what she says. Remember that the very same information can be presented by different people and some people you’re going to click with and some you are not. That does not make either better than the other. I’m just not clicking with Sarah but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have some good ideas or that others won’t benefit from her program. So what is it that is pushing my buttons?

First, her continued reference to living more now and not waiting until you’ve lost 20 pounds. If I were only 20 pounds overweight I’d be tickled pink. One of my opinions about losing weight and health is that the best thing you can do for yourself is find that point that you feel healthy and your weight is easy to maintain and be happy there. If that point is 20 pounds more than you think it should be, learn to like that 20 pounds. But that’s not the point, I suppose, and there are plenty of people for whom that 20 pounds is just as big of a mountain as the far more weight that I need to lose. It’s hard for me to relate to them and it’s hard for me to relate to the constant reference to “living more now before you do permanent damage.”

Arthritis? Diabetes? Sounds like permanent damage to me. Does that mean that these principles won’t work for me? No, books like When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies and Intuitive Eating have addressed these same concepts of loving ourselves, eating only when we’re hungry, meeting our needs with something other than food, etc, and are much more geared to women who may need to lose a lot of weight. The thing is, insight does not equal change.

Perhaps that is what Sarah is trying to achieve here. It’s just that her version of change involves what – at least from the light version of the program she’s presenting seems to entail – is a one size fits all program that I am not identifying with at all. Wear red lipstick! Go to a beautiful cafe to watch the video! Lipstick makes my lips peel. To watch the video at a beautiful cafe I’d need a laptop/tablet and a beautiful cafe. Don’t have either.

There are only two challenges this week that have any meaning to me. To spend a day eating only when you’re hungry which is something that is very hard for me. Lots and lots of habitual eating. And to tell your body you love her. I block on that. Even pretending to mean it, I block on that. So those are the days that I will put the most energy into the challenges. I don’t mind the one to cook a nice dinner – that’s what I’ve spent my summer doing. I’ve spent too long being afraid of food and starving myself on packaged convenience foods (for portion control) or binging.

One thing before I wander off again. I agree that we need to find the things that are missing in our lives and try to meet those needs in a way that doesn’t involve food. Trying to figure those things out, I think, is harder than a quick list of things I would do if I didn’t need to lose weight. But that’s probably not a bad place to start. It’s just that it isn’t simply an excuse when I say that I can’t physically do a lot of those things – like going for a hike or going dancing. Probably more important for me is to find ways to increase my confidence, especially in social situations. This is not a new idea for me but it is something I have not been able to resolve so far and it only gets harder the older I get.

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13 thoughts on “week 2 begins #lmwlchallenge”

  1. I know this doesn’t help but I just wanted to say that I agree with everything you said. I also am disappointed in the program thus far and I did have some hope for it but that is quickly disappearing. I really thought it was going to be more about loving ourselves just the way we are and exploring different ways to do that. For some reason I didn’t think that would entail revamping my life in ways that I have no money and or interest in going. Why can’t we just focus on being ok with and appreciating today while moving toward a more healthy lifestyle? And perhaps her ways of doing it are just not meshing for me but do for others. (lipstick? nice café? wireless internet?) I do think changes now help even if a disease process has started – maybe even especially then – so for her to even suggest different is disturbing. for some reason I didn’t get the challenges for the week so can’t comment on them directly but from what you have said I think i’m going to be in the same boat as you. good luck wit h the week and do let us know how you do and especially if you come up w/ any alternatives that fit better for you but perhaps still tap what she is trying to get at (if that is discernible). And if you find any good ways to help increase your confidence in social situations I would welcome hearing about them.
    take care of yourself.

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    1. Actually, it does help that someone else is having the same impressions. I agree that I thought it would focus a little more on loving ourselves as we are. And yes, I think loving yourself as you are might include doing things like buying more flattering clothing if you can afford that – but I don’t think it should ever include stuff like “wear red lipstick” if that is not something you’re into. I get that pushing yourself to do something that you want to do but feel like you can’t because of your weight could be a good thing. I just think many of these challenges are off base for me.

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  2. I think that it all has to be modified to what treats (non-food) mean a lot to you. For me a coffee date with a friend is beyond price. Reading a good book is something I look forward to eagerly. It’s different for each person but the special gifts you give yourself are what is most important. xoxo

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    1. You may recall my struggles with trying to come up with a non-food reward. Money is an issue but when I can afford it, I buy myself books (or expensive pans) or maybe the occasional new shirt or something. Things that some people love, like spa days or massages are not my thing. I do a good job of taking care of my wants and needs outside of food. So, still working on that.

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  3. Yeah, I feel you on this. I kind of don’t want to watch the videos anymore because I found her first one obnoxious. I’m worried that watching more of the videos right away might just put me off of the whole program.

    I am also not about to wear red lipstick. Reds are just not me. I do have some bright lipsticks, though, and I figure same thing. Or I might do a fun bright nail polish instead, because nail polish is WAY more up my alley.

    Speaking of which, nail polish is one of my favorite non-food rewards. I like nail polish because it can be both a zen activity and a creative outlet. Plus, if I feel the urge to eat (but am not hungry) painting my nails forces me to delay that. Usually by the time my nails are dry enough to start snacking, I’ve gotten distracted with the internet/something on Netflix and the urge to eat is gone. Or I’ll find that I’m actually hungry and ready for a real meal. Either outcome constitutes a win in my book!

    Back to the videos, though, I’m really glad I’m not the only one not clicking with her. And the suggestion of watching one in a cafe just isn’t going to work for me. I do have a laptop (a relic from college that never leaves my desk now), but this is mostly an issue of anxiety for me. Which is something that I’m working on, but I’m just not up to pushing myself that far yet. Maybe I’ll save the video until I am ready to watch it in a cafe. Maybe.

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    1. Not watching the videos is kind of a double edged sword for me. She does present some good information – and even if it’s not new, it’s not bad for me to think about again. But I do have to separate my annoyance at certain things from the useful stuff.

      I like your delaying tactics for that impulse eating. Other than late night eating, it’s that fidgety “I just want something” feeling that is the hardest for me to delay. I need to come up with some ideas that would help me to take the time for the urge to go away or for real hunger to manifest like your nail painting.

      If you don’t mind my asking, have you worked with a therapist on the anxiety? Are you familiar with successive approximations?

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      1. I don’t mind you asking at all! I have worked with therapists on my anxiety, and have actually made giant improvements. The sticking point where anxiety is at it’s highest for me is around food & eating/drinking in public, especially alone. Unsurprisingly, when this anxiety manifested in my teens, I plunged into an eating disorder (I’ve worked hard to get myself out of the disordered eating cycles and have been free of the behavior for about 12 years now). It’s been a slow process, and we have used successive approximation techniques to work through most of my anxiety, but eating alone in public is the last frontier, I guess.

        If I’m being honest, though, eating in cafes has been my entry into this experience and has been going pretty OK for the most part. I don’t know why the suggestion of watching the video in the cafe is so triggering for me right now. Maybe it’s because I already don’t really want to watch the video. More likely it’s because I don’t want to watch something potentially triggering in a space that is also potentially triggering.

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        1. It makes total sense to me that you might not want to risk a triggering video in a triggering space. Anxiety doesn’t always make sense, at least on the surface. I don’t usually have much trouble eating alone in a restaurant provided I have been there before. Some days, however, I can’t force myself in no matter what. And going into a new place is nearly impossible even though I know that once I get in the door it will probably be fine.

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        2. I have similar experiences with certain places. For instance, my husband is a musician, and there are certain bars that he plays at regularly where I do not mind being on my own or wandering in by myself at all… I just am not really able to eat on my own still, even at those venues. Working up to it, tho, and some days are better than others. 🙂 For instance, it’s been 4 years since I’ve hid in the storage room during my lunch break at work (ugh, I know), but most days eating alone in the cafeteria is still really uncomfortable (although at least not attack-causing), so I often find an alternative or try to eat lunch with a coworker.

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  4. Hi – out of curiosity, I did a google search on the hash tag lmwlchallenge and your blog entry came up and it was definitely good to see someone else a little disillusioned with the challenge. I definitely don’t like spending money for one time things. Or adding stress to my entirely too busy and compressed days by trying to carve out time to go to a cafe to watch a video. A video that really and truly was nothing more than a sales pitch for Sarah’s incredibly expensive coaching program.

    My biggest dissatisfaction is the encouragement to use social media to document yourself doing the challenges. Um, we’re supposed to be living – doing life now. If we’re worried about how we’re going to portray ourselves doing the challenge on Instagram or Facebook, we really aren’t actually experiencing all the challenge offers. We being voyeurs into our own lives.

    The challenge came to me at a time when I was questioning my will and desire to lose weight. I lost about 70 lbs over a 6 month period between 2005 and 2006. In the last 3 years, I’ve gained at least 40 of it back. And I put my life on hold again. If nothing else, the challenge has helped me remember I’m worthy of treating myself well and doing the things that make me happy NOW.

    The key is to remember that Sarah doesn’t know what makes me happy. I do. I’m completing the challenge because it is important to me to actually complete something now. And what I find useful, I’ll carry on into my every day life afterwards.

    Thanks for sharing your feeling about the challenge!

    All the best,
    Maura

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    1. Hi Maura, nice to meet you and thank you for taking the time to comment. I’m following the maxim to “take what you can use and leave the rest.” I agree with you, she doesn’t know what makes me happy and I keep feeling like I am not her typical client. But she is reminding me of some things I needed to be working on as I am trying to make some positive changes in my life. So, like you, I’m continuing the challenge, partly so I don’t quit something in the middle and partly to get the things I find useful out of the program.

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      1. Thanks – I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog. I just glimpsed your post about Zen Habits and had to snicker. I usually ignore his feed any more for the same reason you have been considering not following it any more. And like you, I do still find those nuggets.

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        1. I thought for sure I had a singing smilie… you’ll just have to imagine me singing…. “It’s a small world after all! It’s a small world after all! It’s a small world after all….it’s a small, small world….

          You’re welcome for the earwig.

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