3 am

3 AM
aloneness pounds down on me
like a fist
darkness heavy on my shoulders
images creep through
my sleep deprived head
echoing memories
all the yesterdays run together
today, tomorrow
searching for something
to fill the holes
is it just me?

of course it is
how could I think otherwise?

4, 5, 6
dark turns gray
another day comes, almost
against my will
please let me sleep
to hide for a while
from the gaping holes
that can’t be filled no matter what
I stuff in them
all the yesterdays become
tomorrows
nothing changes

7, 8, 9
too bleak
too much the pessimist
what’s the point?
acceptance? living with it?
stuffing stuffing stuffing
fighting, quitting, giving up?
please just be quiet
let me sleep
in the light, where
it’s just a little easier
to believe in possibilities

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8 thoughts on “3 am”

    1. I’m sorry that you’re experiencing the sleepless nights, too. Perhaps we should get together and play some online backgammon.

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  1. Hate sleepless nights. Last night we got woken at 3am by one of the cats miaowing very loudly to be in. She normally stays in all night or goes out all night, so it was a bit of a shocker! We’re 6 hours ahead of you here, so it’s not even 3am yet where you are. But I’ve no idea how to play backgammon, so I don’t think I’d be much use to you either. Hope you are getting some sleep tonight.

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    1. The trick, in the middle of the night, is not to do anything too interesting or that will wake me up too much. Hope you and the kitty sleep better.

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