funny in a sad way

I went to Springfield – and it snowed all day, by the way, but never really stuck to the road – to see Dad. He wouldn’t talk to me on the phone this morning and the nurse was concerned. Apparently after coming back from an attempt to do a colonoscopy (which was hindered by his refusal to cooperate and drink the dreaded prep juice) he sat rigidly and stared straight ahead. Was this something he did? Well, not to my knowledge.

When I got there, he told me that he had won all the points. He couldn’t explain further, he seemed to indicate, because of the Canadians. But we were getting out of there and going to a fine hotel then he and mom and I would go wherever we wanted – Australia! We’d take the presidential jet because that way the trip would only take 6 hours.

It took a while to sort out. We were, he said, a little north of Sault Sainte Marie in Canada. Although he did tell them that he lives in Shell Knob and the sitter who was assigned to stay with him during the day nearly laughed when I confirmed that the house was indeed in Shell Knob. He was upset that I left early, because of the snow, because it would take me a lot longer than an hour and a half to drive home – I should fly instead. I should leave my car there and fly home and I could get any new car I wanted. We were going to stay there, in the old prison, just one more night before moving to the best hotel. And we were going to go shopping. Mom would be shocked since she’s so conservative while Dad and I are spendthrifts. I was to get the pastor to come look after the house and find a place to keep the cats and dogs and fish while we spent at least 30 days traveling around Australia.

I suggested we take a cruise to Australia. Yes, I really did.

No, that was a horrible idea. It would take too long and there was nothing to see but ocean. What? You drive around an island and then do what? Drive around another island?

It was both hard to leave and really hard to stay. I don’t seem to tolerate this Dad that well. I had time to speak with his nurse and she thought that perhaps his current physical problems might have brought on the delusions. Though they like to call it confusion. There’s a difference, there really is.

I finally got to speak to his doctor while I was driving home. There is a kink of small bowel caught in an inguinal hernia and they will do surgery tomorrow to correct it. I gave consent over the phone. Dad will stay in the hospital a few days because they really want to do further testing and get a full scope done. Part of me feels guilty that I won’t drive back up there tomorrow but it is really hard for me to drive that far right now. Plus we’re playing guess-what-will-happen-next with the weather. But there doesn’t seem to be much point of my being there, either. He’s got good care, he’s got someone sitting with him all the time. He actually seems pretty happy confounding them. And winning all the points.

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15 thoughts on “funny in a sad way”

  1. It’s funny because it’s such a detailed and complete fantasy, but sad because he truly believes it. And it isn’t who he REALLY is, or used to be anyway. 😦

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    1. Exactly. And not only does he believe what he’s saying, he’s actually quite delighted by it. It was like a cross between a secret agent and a bad little boy. There’s a word for happy/sad – bittersweet. There needs to be a word for funny/sad.

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  2. He goes to surgery shortly – I’m coordinating from home. Talked to the anesthesiologist this morning and he’s planning on trying a spinal block and sedation. General anesthesia doesn’t play well with dementia and copd.

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  3. There is a German word,it’s actually several words in one,
    Himmelhochjauchzendzutodebetrübt.I couldn’t find a proper English translation.It means one is very happy and sad at the same time.

    Zazzy,best wishes for a successful surgery for your dad !

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  4. I found German lyrics online,in part the English translations says,
    deep sadness to overjoyed,
    it is only a small step
    and then comes
    himmelhochjauchzendzutodebetrübt

    Himmelhochjauchzendzutodebetrübt seems to appear on a CD album,
    Indiana,I never listened to it.I don’t think the above lyrics are from the CD album.Indiana is the debut album by American singer-songwriter Jon McLaughlin.I wish I could find Indiana online to listen to it.

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  5. What a strange situation to find yourself in! Love the story he tells. Who wouldn’t? I hope that his surgery goes as well as possible. I think that you’re smart to handle things the way that you have.

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  6. Ty guys. Surgery went well and he’s stable and resting in his room now. He’s still in Canada, however, and seems quite happy about it. We’ll see what happens as he recovers.

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  7. Oh Zazz, I am so thankful that you got him into the nursing home before all this happened. I know it is still a big load for you, but maybe lessened a bit by knowing that he’s getting good care.
    Yeah, they say it’s gonna start snowing tonight and keep on all day tomorrow and we might have a foot by Tue morning. I’ll believe it when I see it.
    I have an optomitrist appt tomorrow. I layer on my glasses and they got all bent and the lens fell out. I tried to put it back in with Krazy Glue, only the glue oozed all over the lens. Then I tried to remove it with acetone nail polish remover, and it took the polycarbonate coating off in some spots and looks hideous. I never let the guy do a dilated exam because he freaks out when he sees the laser scars on my retina. I explain the situation, give him my opthalmologist’s name, but he then says “well, I’d like to see for myself”.
    Sorry Charlie, ain’t gonna happen.
    Wishing you a smooth week ahead.

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    1. Oye, it hasn’t stopped snowing there yet? We ended up with nothing last week – or for that matter the week before – although Kansas City has gotten a couple feet or so total, I think. It pays to live in the south. I hope the eye appointment goes well. My optometrist always wants to dilate too – that’s why I have an opthamologist, dude. Really vexing when your glasses are messed up. I need a spare pair but who can afford that?

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  8. I have looked at those cheapo glass places online. One says “glasses for $9.99” but then you find out that if you need progressives they add $99. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone with lined bifocals in years…….

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    1. I got discounted glasses at Sam’s club and they got the prescription just slightly wrong in my right eye which made my depth perception totally off and left me mildly nauseous all the time. My opthamologist rolled his eyes when I told him I got my glasses at Sam’s. So, I got to pay more and get the right prescription and I can see just fine – expect I need bifocals and I just couldn’t stand the progressives. What I really want is computer lenses – adjusted to the exact distance for reading the computer or playing the piano. Perhaps someday.

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  9. Shortly after my retinopathy flare, I did get computer glasses. I was online but forgot to change them when going outside for the day. I immediately noticed the problem with distance vision and thought the treatments had failed. Walked around in a state of panic for a couple hours, but then realize what the problem was.

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  10. Oh Sweets I hope when this is all over and some time has passed that you can forget all the bad stuff and remember some of the funny stuff and have a small chuckle. If your father is living in Canada and is happy what difference does it make. I also liked your idea of asking about taking a trip to Australia. Be well Sweets.

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