dad update

Well, it’s been a surprise to me at how well Dad seems to be adjusting to life in the nursing home. Since the second day he was there, he hasn’t been yelling at me about how he won’t stay. Yesterday, he said he was confused about the “if you need to stay longer” part when we were talking – we’ve all been approaching this with him as rehab-oriented and if he gets stronger and healthier he could possibly come home. He asked if it really was possible he might come home sometime, not like he’s insisting on it but more like he’s surprised about it. I know I can’t count on this continuing, but it’s looking like it’s possible we won’t have to go the guardianship route. I still need to go talk to the lawyer about options and what we need to do with the PoA but this could turn out to be easier than expected.

Physical therapy tells me that he is walking a little better. He still has a lot of trouble getting up and down from a chair. I’ve ordered some shoes for him in extra wide widths and PT will help decide what will actually work for him. One of the therapists was in his room yesterday labeling his closet and drawers. He was wearing his absent roommate’s jeans and insisting that they were his – but that’s not uncommon. He wet himself, however, and the poor therapist was trying to get him to change his clothes. I have to admit, it was damnned amusing.

He says he’s bored, but he actually does more there than he does at home. And he’s getting a foot massage every day to help keep the swelling down in his feet. No one is coming over and massaging my feet! I need to find some other things to take him to make his space a little more homey. Mom was easier. Dad says he doesn’t want stuffed animals or blankets. Hmmm.

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12 thoughts on “dad update”

    1. Well I kind of doubt he’ll ever love it so much that he’d fight leaving – then again, Mom became more comfortable there and got to where she felt really anxious if we tried to take her out so who knows? So long as he’s feeling okay and not fighting it, that’s cool with me.

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    1. Yes, one of the things I keep pointing out is that I don’t want to be the one making all the decisions. You know I have a history with Dad and I was afraid that was coloring my perspective of his issues. It’s kind of nice to have others have the same concerns.

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  1. Great news Zazzy. I hope he becomes accustomed to where he is and refuses to leave. Maybe, with all the work you’ve put in / worrying you’ve done / sleep you’ve been losing, maybe a foot rub is exactly what you should organise for yourself, too. A little reflexology might relax, refresh and put a spring in your step, too.

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    1. I’m still feeling stressed but it’s improving. I’m dreading seeing the attorney but that’s just my fear of strangers.

      BTW, they took him to the hospital in Monett last night to get another doppler study on his legs, which were badly swollen again last night. They didn’t keep him and the study was fine – which I expected since he just had one in Cassville while he was in the hospital there. Where it was stressful is I wondered whether I should go to the hospital late last night to be with him or not. What does the good daughter do?

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  2. He’s fine, Zazzy. The good daughter takes care of herself while she can. It’s the same principal demonstrated by flight attendants in the pre-flight safety demo: In an emergency, the adult flying with a dependent child is instructed put her own oxygen mask on first before attending to her dependent – or she might become unable!

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    1. Hmm… I tell other people that. 😛 If it had been a heart attack or something like that I would have gone but I already knew what the results of the doppler were going to be. Psychic!

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  3. Zazzy, I just wanted to say that I have been following your blog even tho not commenting lately. Your struggles are hitting me on a very personal level right now as my parents begin to struggle with severe health issues and living independently. It is encouraging to see you seeking and finding help that you need for yourself and for your dad. {cyber hugs}

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  4. Wow – I don’t check in for a couple days and now Dad’s in a nursing home. I am SO relieved. It was the right thing to do and probably actually getting him in the door was the hardest part. I have a very strong feeling that this will work out better than you expect.
    Is he much for socializing?

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    1. I am so relieved, too. Especially since he seems to be settling in and accepting that he’s there. There are issues, several times each visit he insists that he’s allowed to smoke in his room and demands I give him a cigarette. I offer to take him out to the smoking area and if I’m there during one of their smoking times, I go out with him. Once he’s outside, he’s happy enough but he doesn’t remember in between.

      You know, he used to go to the post office and the local store most days and could easily take a couple hours because he stood around talking with people. Used to drive Mom nuts that it took 2 hours to stop and get milk. But right now, he’s pretty much isolating. Like I did with Mom, I’m visiting with the people around him and helping him get to know some folks.

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