To be honest, I felt pretty stressed out this morning. Well, look at the time. Yesterday morning. I had to go to Walmart and pick up some clothes for Dad, most of his pants are way too big these days. But the stress was about going to see him and getting yelled at some more. Surprisingly, he was calm and relaxed and seemed to pretty well accept being there. He didn’t demand to go home even once. He’s still confused. He’s worried about his wallet, for example, but it’s really not a great idea to keep anything you’re concerned about losing at the nursing home. They have smoking times so I brought his cigarettes. He can’t keep them in his room so he’s often looking for them, but at least he’s allowed to smoke some so there’s less of a complaint there.
I talked with the social worker and finished some bits and pieces of paperwork. She did an extended mental status with Dad and the only things he got right were who he was and where he was. Her assessment is that he is legally incompetent and, if we have to do the guardianship thing, she thinks that it will go easily. Right now, we’re still acting on the idea that it may be possible for him to return home for a while. DFS apparently is in favor of him staying there. I probably am too. I feel guilty but even if he gets physically stronger, his dementia is going to continue to make him unsafe, particularly with the delusions. But we’ll see how it goes. I hear that he’s having meals with Mom. If he stays there, we will probably try to let them room together.
I also spoke with the physical therapists. He did pretty well walking today but we talked about my various concerns about his safety at home. The PT noted that Dad didn’t approach getting out of a chair like other people would. He tries to press straight up so he falls back. With some coaching that improved, at least while the therapist was there. Apparently, he also told them that he was a Colonel in the Army and couldn’t talk about pretty much anything. He was, by the way, in the weather service in the Air Force.
I feel better tonight. I plan to take tomorrow off, do a few things around the house and not go anywhere. Thursday his home worker comes and since there is less mess than usual, I hope she can help me get some cleaning projects done upstairs. I imagine I won’t be able to keep her with Dad not home so it’d be good to have a better job done on the kitchen than she normally has time for – clean out the fridge and things like that. It’d be nice to have someone come in at least once per month to vacuum and dust upstairs but we will see. I meet with Dad’s attorney in the afternoon to discuss the power of attorney and possible guardianship.
I’m a little curious to see how the decreased stress will feel. I know that at least for the next several weeks that I don’t have to listen for movement upstairs or worry I will find Dad dead in the morning. I guess the biggest stress at home will be trying to get the kitties to get along. Maybe I can even write about something else!