metaphor revisited

Somehow this mountain has appeared in my swamp. The swamp isn’t enough to deal with – there’s a mountain now and I have to get over it or I will die. Really. It’s big and it’s scary and it’s insurmountable.

I look at it and I say I don’t know how it got there, but I do. I know that I built the mountain, stone by stone. And every time I threw a new stone up on the pile I looked at it and said that I’m not going to let that mountain get any higher. In fact, I really should start pulling the rocks off. And I do. I walk a little way and I half-heartedly pick up a rock or two and toss them back toward the swamp. And it just looks so big but I tell myself it’s not that bad. I say that I’m too tired today, I’m too sore. And I walk back down to where I started and stare at the mountain and I say I don’t know how it got so big but I’m not going to let it get any bigger and one day I will climb the damn thing.

Then I turn my back on it and sit down, tossing rocks over my shoulder making the mountain just a little bigger again.

I’ve been thinking about this metaphorical mountain a lot these past few days.

I sent this postcard I made into PostSecret a year or so ago. It actually got published. Some people even related. There’s a thread in the PostSecret community – I couldn’t respond because, well, people who live in a swamp sometimes have a hard time reaching out. Odd, isn’t it, that I cared enough to look it up and yet I couldn’t get involved myself. Too late now.

Anyway, I was feeling stuck. Still am, only now I’ve created this damn mountain.

I’m feeling sad tonight. But tomorrow I will get up and look at the mountain and walk as far as I can. I may get scared or tired or make excuses. I may sit down and rest. Hell I may walk back to where I am now. But then I will get up again. And I will turn around and walk as far as I can. Because that’s what I have to do.

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4 thoughts on “metaphor revisited”

  1. First of all, cool that you got something into a book. Obviously you hit a chord with that thought.

    Secondly, I like your idea of walking as far as you can– metaphorically and literally. I often tell myself that when all else fails I can always go for a walk, whether it be in my mind or with my feet hitting the pavement.

    Thirdly, good insight into knowing how you do things. Awareness is key. And so many people haven’t a clue about how they do what they do. Clearly you’re a step ahead.

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    1. Sometimes I have to look at my process from a different angle, hence the metaphor. What frustrates me is I see what I do and I do it over and over again. I am smart enough to break this pattern! Surely I am! (Oh, and the postcard was just on their website, not – as far as I know – the books.)

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