poetry

I have not posted a poem in a long time – since before the archive debacle of last autumn, in fact. So some poor souls have no warning about the angsty “poetry” I sometimes write.

This came in the wee hours of this morning while I was not sleeping. Well, of course I was not sleeping! I would not be writing angsty poetry if I was sleeping. At any rate, I’m leaving it raw. Not sure I think it’s worth polishing.

inside me is a lost little girl.
small and frightened and alone.
I don’t even know where she comes from –
she isn’t me. at least not the me I remember.
I can see her, so tiny, so very small.
and I know what she feels,
what she wants. the things that
she can never have.
it doesn’t seem to me
that these things are so big
or unusual. why can’t she,
or I, have someone to hold her.
someone who loves her.
I know, I understand
that I am is not this child.
but I feel her longing,
I dream her dreams.
and I ache for her, and for
the me that I know.
sometimes I wish that I was this girl.
lost and alone she may be, but
in my dreams, her dreams,
she finds the things she can’t have.
it isn’t perfect,
but it’s more than I will ever have.

Wow. That’s even more depressing this morning. For anyone who wants to be inflicted with more angsty (and some erotic) poetry, I’ve got some of my project pages up, including the old poetry page. See the link to projects up there in the header.

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6 thoughts on “poetry”

  1. I’m the first to admit that I’m much too literal to totally get poetry.

    That being said, I appreciate what you’ve written here. And you are right, it is very angst. Is that what you had it mind in the middle of the night when you wrote it? It flows along smoothly. That’s good right?

    See? Literary critic and interpreter of poetry, I am not. I think that it is cool that you can write like this, so I’ll just say “well done” and move along now.

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    1. Thanks for the kind words Ally. I think it conveys what I wanted it to – I was thinking of lost waifs and how we jump on any sign of kindness or interest. It’s not a good place from which to start a relationship. I just don’t like it in the light of day. I may work further with the idea. I haven’t written poetry in a while and it’s generally been therapeutic for me.

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  2. I’m like Ally, I don’t get poetry much either. But I think I understood a bit about what you were trying to say. You said you wrote it in the small hours – I’m often awake at 3am and my thoughts are always worse at that time of night, by which I mean when I think about them during the day, they are never as troublesome as they were (does that make any kind of sense at all?). Maybe that’s why you don’t like it as much in daylight, because the darkest hour, for all things, is just before dawn and that’s when we have our darkest thoughts and feel most alone. I’ll move along now too!

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    1. Mostly I don’t like it because the writing is bad. But the dark of the night is a great time to write really bad, depressing stuff. It is when we feel most alone, especially if we can’t sleep. I’ve been playing around with the idea today and I hope to get something better out of it, and far less angst.

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