Posted by: schnuckiputz | October 22, 2007

The Next Survivor Series

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.There is no fast food.Each man must take care of his 3 kids;keep his assigned house clean,correct all homework,complete science projects,cook,do
laundry,and pay a list of “pretend” bills with not enough money.In addition,each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the Birthdays of all their friends and relatives,and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment,a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend,evening,on a holiday or right when they’re about to leave for vacation).He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and chores are done.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to 90% of silly songs that come on TV and the names of 90% of cartoon characters.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks,a tortilla and one marker;and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry,wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed.The men must try to get through each day without snot,spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks,the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps,back aches,and have extreme,unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings,church,and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling
asleep,and then feed them,dress them,brush their teeth and comb their
hair each morning by 7:00.They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,and each father will be
required to know all of the following information: each child’s Birthday,
height,weight,shoe size,clothes size and doctor’s name.Also the child’s weight at birth,length,time of birth,and length of labor,each child’s favorite color,middle name,favorite snack,favorite song,favorite drink,favorite toy,biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend
the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand
and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving,age appropriate reply to,”You’re not the boss of me”.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.The last man wins only if………he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.


Responses

  1. Oh! I like it. I might even tune in to watch that one. You never know what’s going to happen when you leave a father in charge.

  2. I want to see a survivor series where everyone has type 1 diabetes. We all get dropped off on the island with our supplies. That includes small refrigerators to keep the insulin in.

    It would make for an interesting series, I think!

  3. I’m sure many people would be astonished by what is required to keep a diabetic healthy and again by how healthy and how much we can do – how well we survive. Probably would only appeal to other diabetics, though.

  4. I must admit I was LMBO when i read this one…even tho I don’t have any two legged kids…just the four legged kind…still lol’ing here. thanks for the laugh..i could use it.


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